Hello!

Well…it’s been awhile.

I had a lot of plans for this new year. I had to-do lists written, lots of blogging that I was prepared to do, social media shares I wanted to post, and yet somehow none of that has actually happened yet. Here we are in the month of March (!) already and this is my first post in several weeks.

There hasn’t been anything traumatic that has happened, just the usual busyness that takes over as work expands, sickness rolls in, home renovation projects take longer than expected, and fatigue sets in. To be honest, I haven’t felt like myself these few months. I have felt overwhelmed, irritable, slighted, defeated, and just plain tired. I didn’t feel like I had much to say or share.

In the midst of this, I have seen God’s provision. I have felt His reminders that even though I’m crabby, He’s not. He’s not holding that against me and He’s still guiding my steps. He reminds me that work is hard but holy. He reminds me that motherhood is full of tears but it’s full of beauty, too. He shows me grace through my marriage and He reminds me that He knows best the plan for my life and His timing is perfect.

Yesterday I spent a few hours at the playground with my son. The bright purple and blue playhouse caught his attention right away and I watched as he climbed up the stairs, made it over to the slide, and slid down- all on his own. We were laughing, playing Peek A Boo, clapping and having a good time.

This playground happened to be in the middle of a large medical complex. In the hours we were there waiting for my mother to have a procedure done, there must have been about fifty people that passed through the playground area. Some were being pushed in wheelchairs, some were wearing white coats or scrubs, but most passed without glancing up. Some even scowled at us as we played and I wondered why they seemed irritated at a little boy playing.

I think so often as Christians we’re told that life is not a playground. Life is a battlefield. Life is war. We have an Enemy we’re fighting and we have to be serious about that. And, yes, that is definitely true. But if all that seriousness steals our joy, our ability to play, then we have a problem. Yes, there will be seasons that are just plain hard but in the midst of it, there are moments of laughter, or playing, of having a good time.  Where these two places converge- the playground and the battlefield- is where I find myself these days. This is where I find God these days. In the laughter that comes with tears in my eyes. The kisses my son gives me without prompting followed by his head crashing into mine. Ouch. The breaking points that come after a good day. The smart remarks to my husband and the apologies that come after.  And on a different day, the “it’s okay” I say to him when he’s having a bad day. These few months the serious business of making it through a day has taken up so much of my vision that I have let it cloud all the good. It’s time for the sun to come out and shake these clouds away.

My 2018 word-illuminate-has been on my mind lately and I’ve realized that part of seeing things illuminated is to open my eyes. To really see where God’s light and truth is. Allowing all of life, the good and bad, to draw me closer to God. To find Him there in the non-stop busyness, in the tears shed on the bathroom floor, in the playground time, knowing His arms are always there to catch me, that His ear is always ready to bend.

And to embrace the surprises, even the ones that take our breath way. And on that note, I wanted to share with you surprising news that our family received:

I’m sure the first trimester had a lot to with my feelings of tiredness and feeling overwhelmed (and probably lots of the tears too!) but we are beyond excited and can’t wait to meet our little one in August!

What you have been up to? I’d really like to know! Has this year been a difficult or non-stop one for you so far?! If there is any way that I can pray for you, please let me know. I’ll continue to be blogging (but probably more like one post a week rather than three!). Thanks for following along!