Welcome to Week 1 of “Keep Showing Up”! This month, along with our discussion questions, there are scriptures for this week and a prayer for our marriages.
Chapter 1: Where Does a Wife Go to Resign?
*In this chapter, Karen writes about five things that make marriage difficult:
- we have sky high expectations
- our culture doesn’t support marriage
- we are fallible creatures in a fallen world
- opposites attract, or opposites attack
- wanting our own way
Do you believe this to be true? Have any of these issues affected your own marriage?
*The author reminds us: “Your marriage is a message, and people are watching you preach.” Do you believe your marriage is preaching a good message about the gospel? What is it preaching well and what can it work on?
Chapter 2: Embracing Your Sandpaper Spouse
*Karen focuses on three aspects of love from 1 Corinthians 13:
- love is patient
- it is not easily angered
- it keeps no record of wrongs
Do you feel that these are difficult attributes to aspire to? How does knowing God loves you this way encourage you to aspire to this kind of love in your marriage?
*The author lists seven sermons to preach to yourself. Which one resonated with you the most?
*On pages 53-55, the author lists 10 ways to love a sandpaper spouse. Which one of these ten ways can you put into practice today?
Chapter 3: A Trio of Trouble
*In this chapter, the author gives insight into a “trio of trouble” that can affect our marriages:
- baggage
- expectations
- perceptions
Have you found that this 1-2-3 punch creates issues in your marriage?
*Karen gives four solutions to counteract the “trio of trouble”:
- Believe the best. Don’t assume the worst.
- Ask clarifying questions.
- Describe your feelings while also realizing feelings are not always based on facts.
- Grant grace and don’t give it an expiration date.
How would putting these solutions into practice benefit your own marriage?
Scriptures for this Week
Genesis 2:21-25
Ephesians 5:31-32
Proverbs 27:17
1 Corinthians 13
Ephesians 4:32
Prayer for the Week
Father God, thank You for the gift of marriage. Help us to put into practice the tips and habits we need to benefit our own marriages. Help us to keep loving, keep showing grace, and keep showing up. We desire our marriages to preach a good message of the gospel. Help us to lean on You and let go of the things we need to as we keep showing up for our marriages. We love You and thank You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
For next week
Read Chapters 4-5
**How are you enjoying this month’s book? I enjoy Karen’s “I’ve been there before” relatable way of giving wisdom and practical tips š
I really enjoy how this book is keeping it real! Thereās so much that can be discussed regarding marriage and I definitely feel this book is off to a great start. š
Some thoughts regarding this weekās chapters:
Chapter 1:
-The 5 things the author mentions that make marriage difficult are very real! For me, expectations and wanting my own way are the areas I struggle with and need to work on the most. My husband and I have high expectations for ourselves, and in general; we are also the oldest in our families. This combination can make for a strong team but also can be a weakness when not handled correctly – too much of the time Iām focusing inward (on the āmeā) instead of the bigger picture/reality of the situation.
-I hope my marriage sends a good message about the Gospel. Really putting love into action (1 Corinthians 13) is something all marriages should be striving for. Processing (i.e., looking at things from each otherās perspectives) and communicating (I know – thatās bold š) are what I think my husband and I do well. I think giving grace is one of the most important pieces within a marriage and this is something I need to continue working on.
Chapter 2:
-Being patient, not getting easily angered, and not keeping a record of wrongs are all tough in general – in marriage this can be extremely difficult! Itās so easy to let simple things get under our skin and let them start to form grudges. š¬
-Sometimes I wonder how itās possible for God to love me like He does, perfectly….and itās intimidating a lot of the time honestly. Itās like how do we live up to that, how do we live – love – like that?! But then again I remember, itās not about me – not something I can (ever) do on my own, only through and in Jesus. And by taking my gaze off myself, I start appreciating Him and all Heās done/is doing for me – and little by little He can start working in me to give that type of love.
-āLose the attitudeā is the short sermon (#2) that most resonates with me….I tend to take time to process things on the one hand, but so often my attitude is bubbling over (Got to āsimmer down now!ā š)
-Time Travel is one way I can practically love my husband.
Chapter 3:
-Yes; the 1-2-3 punch definitely creates issues in my marriage; itās like itās way too easy to have the perfect storm created! š¤Ŗ
-For me, I think asking clarifying questions is a way I can really benefit because then I donāt get stuck in the āassume the worstā mentality. Granting grace is also SO necessary – I have to remember Iām not easy to life with either (especially since my husband and I are similar in a lot of ways). We should extend do-overs especially since Jesus gives us chances time and again.
“Assuming the worst” is definitely what my husband and I struggle with! It’s not necessarily that we assume the other is wrong or bad, it’s more that we know each other so well at this point that we assume we already know what the other is going to say or what their attitude is going to be and then make our own retort before giving them a chance to even say what they were going to say! I’m learning to take each situation as it comes and not assume that I know everything. But it’s tough and there are so many struggles and day to day issues that come up that it’s difficult to remember the right thing to do instead of just reacting.