Have you ever suffered in silence?

Me, too.

Sometimes only we know the private pain we bear. The secret is ours to keep and all we can do is hope for a private cure. We pray in silence because we can’t dare to lift our voices to say it out loud, let alone voice the request for others to pray for us. The shame would wound us and so we keep silent.

The Problem

The story of the woman who had the issue of blood is one of a woman who suffered in silence. Her story is found in Mark 5:24-34. Her name is not given, only her condition, and that she had suffered with this issue and had gone to many doctors who may have helped, but had not cured her. She was out of money, having spent all she had on medical care, and she was out of options.

I imagine this woman was lonely. That even though the medical issue was the problem of the blood, that there was a heart issue as well. In those times a woman was considered unclean during menstruation and so this woman had been “unclean” for twelve years. Twelve years! Twelve years of not being hugged or loved on. Twelve years of having others afraid to touch her because they would then be considered unclean. Twelve years of dealing, of trying to find a cure, of having her hopes dashed again and again.

The Answer

And so when she hears of Jesus and she believes he is the Son of God, she goes to Him. It doesn’t seem that she told anyone what she was going to do. As she moved through the crowd trying to reach him, she didn’t say a word either. She didn’t let it be known that she was unclean and they should move out of her way. She just went, moving surely, and hoping just to touch the edge, the hem, of his garment.

When she did touch his garment, she immediately was better. It wasn’t a gradually healing. It was immediate. It was complete. She was one hundred percent better and she knew it. She could feel it.

Jesus felt it too. When he asked, “Who touched me?” the disciples didn’t even know what to do with that question. There was a crowd all around him. It was like, “uhhh….Jesus there’s a lot of people touching you.” But he knew. Even in that crowd of people, he knew that he had been touched-by her. So he asked, not to point her, not to get her in trouble, not in an annoyed way but rather an excited way. “Where is she? The one who had so much faith she knew she just had to touch the hem of my clothes.” He wanted to encourage her. Her secret act of faith had been rewarded and it should have been celebrated.

Isn’t it amazing to think that even those acts of faith that we do in secret, away from all other eyes, are seen by God? He knows. Even in a crowded world full of people doing good things, showy things, things that in our heart of hearts we wish we could do or that we had faith enough to do, even in a world like that- God sees us. He sees the extra money you give in faith to the tithe plate even when others might think you’re crazy for doing so. He sees the random acts of kindness you do. The faith you have to keep praying. He hears the dreams in your heart, the hopes, that you’re too afraid to tell anyone about. He knows of your desire for him and He wants to encourage it. He wants to tell you that it’s good and to keep at it! 

This woman knew her hope for a private interaction with Jesus was over and she had to fess up. Now she is being made public, put on the spot and she is scared. Will he be angry? She might even be wondering if he will take away the healing.

So she fell before him. What else was there to do? She humbled herself at his feet. She told him the whole truth. She was embarrassed, I’m sure. She probably hadn’t expected this. Sometimes we may have to expose those secrets. If God asks us to, we may have to share those things we’d hoped no one would ever know. The amazing thing is that we don’t have to be ashamed of them. We can share because it gives him praise and it encourages others. We shouldn’t be afraid to own our stories and to own what God has healed us from.

Look how he responds to her in this next verse,

“Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.” V. 34

That verse just moves me to tears! This woman, who didn’t even have a name, is now called “Daughter.” That’s a tender, intimate name from someone who cares a great deal about her! She’s not just some face in the crowd. Not some unclean woman who he would recoil from. No! She is his daughter. He delighted in her faith. He loved that she came anticipating receiving her healing from him. He encourages her to go in peace. She didn’t have to stress about the doctor bills or the how she would deal with all the suffering. Her suffering is over and she can take comfort in it, take comfort that it is all behind her and move forward in peace now.

The Dare

In our own lives, it may be a sin that we’re ashamed of but can’t seem to get rid of. It could be a marital problem we can’t fathom how anyone wouldn’t judge us for. It could be a medical issue that we’re embarrassed about. Or an issue that has haunted us for so long that we believe everyone is tired of hearing about it already so we keep silent…and suffer in silence. You may feel like you’re in that crowd. You’re just another face, another problem. But you’re not! He will focus on you. He will see your face amongst all the others. 

Friends, I dare you to go to Jesus. Take your secret, and your faith, and go! Perhaps you’ve tried everything else and now you need to go to Jesus. There were a lot of people in the crowd that day, but we only hear of this one woman. A woman who had faith enough, who was tired of trying everything else to fix her, who dared to Jesus and fall for Him. Don’t wait any longer.  Fall at His feet, confess, and listen for his encouragement and his healing. Dare to fall for Him!