Part Two
Chapter 7: Whatever is Pure
*The view Christians hold on sexual purity has been called into question recently, especially regarding “purity culture.” What do you believe Christianity has gotten right in its teaching on sexual purity? What do you believe it has gotten wrong?
*Hannah asserts that what is done sexually comes from the posture of the heart. A divided heart will not lead to purity. Do you agree with this assertion? Why or why not?
Chapter 8: Whatever is Lovely
*Compare and contrast the views the world holds on beauty with the views Christianity holds. Should Christians have the same goals for beauty that the world does?
*“Utilitarianism becomes a threat to discernment when it teaches us to evaluate what is good and bad by earthly definitions of value” (pg.134). Do you find yourself focusing on things that are practical and make sense rather than what is lovely? How can you make room in your life for what is lovely?
Chapter 9: Whatever is Commendable
*As we seek whatever is commendable we will speak positively about good things and negatively about evil things. Which do you find it more difficult to do?
*Think about how you are using your words. What are you saying online and to the people close to you? Do you truly believe your words are valuable and that what you speak is powerful? How are you “speaking well” in your sphere of influence?
Scripture of the Week
Malachi 3:13-4:4
Matthew 9:16-30
Ephesians 5:1-20
Prayer of the Week
Father God, thank You for helping us to be discerning people. Help us to have fresh eyes to see what is good and to filter all things through the lens of Your Word and Your truth. Please help us to receive wisdom and to learn what is good so that we might be people who think on what is pure, lovely, and commendable. It’s difficult to look around and see good when there is so much going on that seems so awful but we know that we can lean on You to help us. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
For Next Week
*Read Part Three
Christians mean well, I believe, when they talk about the importance of sexual purity. I grew up during the “purity culture” movement, and my school and youth group emphasized how God was pure, wanted us to be pure (for our good), and that we could be pure by not having sex until marriage. They got the main points across, and I think sharing those aspects of the subject was right.
What could have been done better or different? So. Many. Things. Virginity was idolized, with assumptions that marriage would be perfect (sexually and in general) if this path was taken. There was only talk of abstinence; birth control or condoms weren’t mentioned…and it was a given that if you had sex before marriage, you’d get pregnant and well, your life was over then.
Fear is a powerful tool, but ultimately it won’t help people make the right decisions.
I have far too many thoughts on “purity culture”, but believe it’s crucial to talk truthfully about this subject and educate people correctly so they’re not ignorant or confused. I think presenting all information – while showing potentially where each option could lead – is the only way to really help people make more well-informed decisions.
I agree with Hannah that “the solution to impurity is not simply abstinence or ignorance; it is to pursue whatever is pure.” (Page 119) If we’re taught to pursue what is pure – not just sexually – we will learn why purity is valuable and most likely gradually become more pure. Because we are sinful, though, our hearts are divided: we wrestle our desires with God’s perfect, pure ways.
I definitely am prone to focus on things that are practical and make sense rather than what is lovely. Maybe it’s because I’m impatient. I love what Hannah says on Page 134: “…the problem isn’t that we love things that we shouldn’t, but that we love what we should in the wrong way.”
Before this school year began, my husband and I were determined to do things differently to help our boys succeed in their studies. We love them – haven’t always loved what choices they’ve made – but how we’ve been showing them love hasn’t always been how they’ve needed it. It’s so hard to let God “take over”, but finally realizing we don’t really have control is so freeing and understanding we have to do things – including love – in His strength, not ours, is so powerful.
It’s so easy to focus on the negative! I find it more difficult to speak positively about good things because I’m usually caught up in the negativity…I don’t know why getting lost in it seems like I have some control over it?!
I do truly believe words are valuable and that what one speaks is powerful. Discernment takes work, and sadly, work is a deterrent for many, including myself much of the time. Because we don’t have time to be positive, be helpful, be encouraging, right? I think it’s so much easier to focus on tearing each other and ourselves down because we don’t want to risk the possibility – the hope – of something better. We don’t want to be disappointed.
But Jesus is our Hope and we can trust He won’t disappoint us. As Romans 5:5 states,
“…and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
So as we navigate discernment, we can trust that the One who is pure, lovely, and commendable can help us seek those things too.