Hi Readers! We made it to the end of another month and another book! I hope you’ve been enjoying the books we’ve been reading as much I have. They’ve been eye-opening and amazing and this month’s book was no exception! Our girl Allie dropped so many truth bombs throughout her book that I will be thinking on and working through for a long time. I feel like this year the veil has been lifted from my eyes and I’m seeing and understanding things so much more clearly. It’s been books like this, along with Scripture and those who speak out for truth, that have been so helpful and such a big blessing.
Ok, that was a long intro! š Let’s get to it. Here are this week’s discussion questions:
Myth #5: You Can’t Love Others Until You Love Yourself
*The author writes that Jesus’ command to love others as we love ourselves is not a command to love ourselves. Discuss what this means. What does the commandment mean by “love ourselves”?
*“Anytime we deny our own wants, needs, priorities to show kindness and share Christ with someone else, we glorify God” (pg. 162). Do you agree with this? Why or why not? How are marriage and motherhood examples of this?
*Allie says that though she was raised in a Christian home, she didn’t have a personal relationship with Christ until she was a teenager, when she had a teacher who taught her to engage with Scriptures, switched to a church that called to her, and had a life-changing experience at Camp Barnabas. When did you develop a personal relationship with Christ? What was the catalyst?
*She suggests that the culture of self-love tells us to put off major life milestones such as marriage and children until after we have accomplished other things we want to accomplish, such as travel, career success, etc. Allie’s view is that this idea should be rejected as it is merely prolonged adolescence. Her suggestion is to get married and have children as soon as possible. Have there been major life moments or milestones you have delayed in order to pursue other personal goals? Do you regret doing this?
Conclusion
*“We are not enough, and we were never meant to be. That’s good news.” Has your view about whether this is good news or not changed as you’ve read this book? How will this truth help you moving forward?
Scriptures of the Week
Psalm 127:
Romans 12:2
Prayer of the Week
Father God, Thank You that we don’t have to rely on our own ‘enoughness’ because it’s not enough. We can rely on You and live with You in the center. When we focus on loving You and Your people, we can take our eyes off of our own selves. Thank You that we don’t have to wait until we have it all together or feel wonderful about ourselves to go about our Father’s business. Help us to love others as You command us to. Please show us the way to be Your hands and feet to a hurting world and glorify You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen
If you missed any of the other post for this month’s focus, check it out here:
Bible Verses on Your Identity in Christ
For Next Month
*Check out THIS POST for all the details for June’s book club! Hope you’ll join in!
This book has really opened my eyes to our cultureās false teachings and the inner narratives that result. As hard as we try to ābe enoughā and focus on loving ourselves, we still donāt feel satisfied.
I love how the author broke down what the commandment of āloving others as we love ourselvesā really means. First of all, realizing that we actually donāt have a problem loving ourselves, is huge! Rather, we do it quite naturally. Whether or not we feel satisfied (temporarily) when we put energy into loving ourselves, we are the focusā¦.we are focusing on ourselves because we love ourselves so much.
We are told (and as a result, tell ourselves) we deserve love first and that this makes loving others better, easier, etc. But this entitlement mentality is just another lie to justify our selfish behavior.
Christ is the ultimate example of selfless love; He shows us how to rightly love ourselves and others. If we put as much time and energy into loving others the way we focus on ourselves, things would start to look different.
Denying ourselves is hard. We donāt like it; we donāt want to do it. But accepting ourselves is clearly not getting us anywhere. Real love – real life – is about sacrificeā¦and until we submit to this, we will constantly be empty.
For me, Iāve grown up thinking sacrifice was a good thing in regards to work: you sacrifice and work hard at something and it pays off eventually. But in other practical ways, this is more difficult to do.
Marriage takes work, but when you deny yourself, it often feels like youāre giving up something. Weāre told as women that we are strong, independent, and empoweredā¦and Should. Not. Settle. So if we get married, why would we deny our wants/needs?
Motherhood screams ādenialā – and not the āHow can this be happening?!ā phrase that often comes to mind as I deal with my boys š – but the rejecting of my desires. Itās not easy, and so much of the time I donāt like it, but motherhood isnāt about what I want.
For both marriage and motherhood, Iām only part of the equation. And by denying myself, Iām allowing God to teach me to be different and more like Him. Do I wrestle with this? All. The. Time. This struggle exists because 1) Iām sinful and 2) Iām not in control of my husband or my boys – as much as Iād love to be. š
I feel the need to mention Iām not saying settling or lowering expectations in every area is mandatory. The idea of āgiving upā isnāt equivalent to denying oneself. Working through how and what to sacrifice is essential though to live the abundant life God wants us to have. Wrestling with denying myself means God hasnāt given up on me, and for that Iām so grateful!
Iāve started reminding myself that Iām not enough and have been breathing a sigh of relief that itās not all up to me! I have to take life a day at a time, and remember God is more than adequate.